Siddhi Maa had been sitting in Maharajji's room. When she saw me through the window, She sent somebody to get me. I thought, "Oh, why don't they just leave me and let me die ? I can't stand anymore." But I couldn't say no. "Yeah okay, coming."
I got up and walked through the back door, across the courtyard, and into Maharajji's room. As I came to the door, I saw Maa sitting on the floor at the foot of his bed. Nobody else was in the room. As I crossed the threshold, I was struck by a thunderbolt right in the center of my chest. I fell to the ground like a tree that had been hit by lightning. My heart cracked open, and I felt the incredible sweetness of Maharajji's presence. I was crying uncontrollably and couldn't stop. he had come back to me."
I was still lying there on the floor, sobbing and Siddhi Maa was still sitting there quietly. I kept thinking, "she must think I am out of my mind." I tried to stop crying but I couldn't. Still sobbing, I went back to the swahas and the pooja. I was totally out of my mind with bliss. Evey cell was dancing. The devotee who was sitting next to me doing the ceremony kept looking over at me and finally asked, "Krishna Das, are you alright ?" I couldn't stop crying.
Later in the day, another great devotee of Maharajji's named Mrs Soni saw me walking across the courtyard, crying.
She also asked if I was alright. I looked at her and tried to say something, but I couldn't speak. Holding back tears, I barely managed, "Maharajji....!" At this her eyes rolled up all the way back into her head. She stood in front of me shaking like a leaf for about a minute before they rolled back down. She looked at me and said, "Exactly!" and then floated off across the courtyard.
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